I. Another Fine Myth


1. "There are things on heaven and earth,
   Horatio, Man was not meant to know"
                                 -Hamlet

2. "Things are not always as they seem"
                             -Mandrake

3. "The only thing more reliable than magik is
   one's friends!"
                                     -Macbeth

4. "Careful planning is the key to safe and
   swift travel"
                                  -Ulysses

5. "Only constant and conscientious practice
   in the Martial Arts will ensure a long and
   happy life"
                                      -B. Lee

6. "Attention to detail is the watchword for
   gleaning information from an unsuspecting
   witness"
                             -Insp. Clouseau

7. "Is there anything in the universe more
   beautiful and protective than the simple
   complexity of a spider's web?"
                                 -Charlotte

8. "In times of crisis, it is of utmost impor-
   tance not to lose one's head"
                               -M. Antoinette

9. "To function efficiently, any group of
   people or employees must have faith in
   their leader"
                      -Capt. Bligh (ret.)

10. "Man shall never reach his full capacity
    while chained to the earth. We must take
    wing and conquer the heavens"
                                     -Icarus

11. "One of the joys of travel is visiting new
    towns and meeting new people"
                                     -G. Khan

12. "First impressions are of major importance
    in business matters"
                          -J. Pierpoint Finch

13. "The secret to winning the support of large
    groups of people is positive thinking"
                                 -N. Bonaparte

14. "A little help at the right time is better than
    a lot of help at the wrong time"
                                            -Tevye

15. "Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as
    taking candy from a baby' has never tried
    taking candy from a baby"
                                     -R. Hood

16. "Just because something doesn't do what
    you planned it to do doesn't mean it's use-
    less"
                                     -T. Edison

17. "The wonders of the ages assembled for
    your edification, education, and enjoy-
    ment - for a price"
                               -P.T. Barnum

18. "No matter what the product or service
    might be, you can find it somewhere else
    cheaper!"
                                 -E. Scrooge

19. "By persevering over all obstacles and
    distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at
    his chosen goal or destination"
                                   -C. Columbus

20. "With the proper consideration in choice of
    allies, victory may be guaranteed in any
    conflict"
                                    -B. Arnold

21. "One must deal openly and fairly with one's
    forces if maximum effectiveness is to be
    achieved"
                                     -D. Vader

22. "This is another fine myth you've gotten me
    into!"
                            -Lor L. and Har D.

23. "Since prehistoric man, no battle has ever
    gone as planned"
                                   -D. Graeme

24. "Ya gotta be subtle!"
              -M. Hammer

25. "Just because you've beaten a sorcerer,
    doesn't mean you've beaten a sorcerer"
                                -Toth-Amon

26. "A woman, like a good piece of music,
    should have a solid end"
                            -F. Schubert


                              II. Myth Conceptions

1. "Life is a series of rude awakenings"
                           -R.V. Winkle

2. "First impressions, being the longest
   lasting, are of utmost importance"
                             -J. Carter

3. "Ninety percent of any business trans-
   action is selling yourself to the client"
                               -X. Hollander

4. "If the proper preparations have been
   made and the necessary precautions
   taken, any staged event is guaranteed
   success"
                   -Ethelred the Unready

5. "...Eye of newt, toe of frog..."
  -Believed to be the first recipe
   for an explosive mixture...
   The forerunner of gunpowder

6. "That's entertainment!"
        -Vlad the Impaler

7. "Numerical superiority is of no conse-
   quence. In battle, victory will go to the
   best tactician"
                                -G.A. Custer

8. "Anything worth doing, is worth doing
   for a profit"
                              -Teresias

9. "There is more at stake here than our
   lives"
                           -Col. Travis
                         Alamo Pep Talk

10. "One need not fear superior numbers if
    the opposing force has been properly
    scouted and appraised"
                                 -S. Bull

11. "Should old acquaintance be forgot..."
                   -Count of Monte Cristo

12. "This is no game for old men! Send in
    the boys!"
                                -W. Hays

13. "Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce"
                            -Henry VIII

14. "We're looking for a few good men"
                          -B. Cassidy

15. "I'll worry about it tomorrow"
                       -S. O'Hara

16. "Myth-conceptions are the major cause
    of wars!"
                              -A. Hitler

17. "Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the
    civilized warrior"
                                 -Hun, A.T.

18. "Just before the battle, Mother, I was
    thinking mos of you..."
                            -Sonny Barker

19. "What if they gave a war and only one
    side came-"
                                -Lucifer

20. "Chain of command is the backbone of
    military structure and must be strictly
    obeyed"
                              -F. Christian

21. "It takes a giant to fight a giant"
                              -H. Prym

22. "Hell hath no fury like a demon scorched"
                                  -C. Mather

23. "What is this, a Chinese fire drill?"
                                -Sun Tzu

24. "...and then I said to myself, 'Why
    should I split it two ways-'"
                            -G. Mouser

25. "Is everybody happy?"
            -Machiavelli

26. "All's well that ends well"
                     -E.A. Poe


                        III. Myth Directions

1. "Dragons and Demons and Kings,
   Oh my!"
             -The Cowardly Klahd

2. "When old friends get together,
   everything else pales to insignificance"
                   -War, Famine, Pestilence
                    and Death

3. "That's funny, I never have any
   trouble with sevice when I'm shopping"
                                 -K. Kong

4. "'Weird' is a relative, not an absolute
   term"
                  -Baron Frank N. Further

5. "Nothing is impossible. Anything can
   be accomplished with proper prepa-
   rations and planning"
                        -Ponce de Leon

6. "Now you see it, now you don't"
                  -H. Shadowspawn

7. "A friend in need is a pest"
                       -Fafhrd

8. "Once more into the breach..."
    -Zarna, the Human Cannonball

9. "War may be Hell... but it's good for
   business!"
             -The Association for
              Merchants, Manufacturers,
              and Morticians

10. "Old heroes never die; they reappear
    in sequels"
                           -M. Moorcock

11. "What do you mean, 'You've got a
    little job for me'?"
                          -Hercules

12. "Out of the frying pan, into der fire"
                       -The Swedish Chief

13. "If you can't dazzle them with dex-
    terity, baffle them with bullshit!"
                         -Prof. H. Hill

14. "As any magician will tell you - Myth
    Directions is the secret of a suc-
    cessful steal"
                             -D. Henning

15. "-Or was it unlock the safe then
    swim to the surface?"
                        -H. Houdini

16. "...and then the fun began"
                 -N. Bonaparte

17. "I'm sure we can talk things out like
    civilized people"
                               -J. Wayne

18. "What's the point-spread on World
    War III?"
                          -R. Reagan

19. "Why should I pay a troll just
    to cross a bridge?"
                      -B.G. Gruff

20. "What are friends for?"
               -R.M. Nixon

21. "We've got an unbeatable team!"
                           -Sauron

22. "No matter what the game, no matter
    what the rules, the same rules apply
    to both sides!"
                            -Hoyle's Law

23. "Life is full of little surprises"
                             -Pandora

24. "This contest has to be the dumbest
    thing I've ever seen"
                            -H. Cosell

25. "If you can't win fair, just win!"
                          -U.S. Grant

26. "Winning isn't the most important
    thing; it's the only thing!"
                          -J. Caesar

27. "Ask not for whom the bell tolls-"
                              -M. Ali



                             IV. Hit or Myth

1. "There's something to be said for relatives
   ...it has to be said because it's unprint-
   able!"
                                 -A. Einstein

2. "When things are blackest, I just tell myself
   'cheer up, things could be worse!' And
   sure enough, they get worse!"
                                        -Skeeve

3. "Once a knight, always a knight,
   But once a King is once too often!"
               -Sir Bella of Eastmarch

4. "Duty: a fee paid for transacting in
   good(s)"
               -U.S. Dept. of Commerce

5. "The only thing worse that a sorcerer is a
   sorcerer's apprentice"
                                   -M. Mouse

6. "Good information is hard to get. Doing
   anything with it is even harder!"
                            -L. Skywalker

7. "There is no counter for a spirited woman
   except spirited drink"
                                 -R. Butler

8. "Choose your friends carefully. Your ene-
   mies will choose you!"
                                 -Y. Arafat

9. "I don't know why anyone would be nerv-
   ous about going to see royalty"
                             -P. in Boots

10. "Superior firepower is an invaluable tool
    when entering into negotiations"
                                  -G. Patton

11. "Tell you what. Let me sweeten the deal a
    bit for you..."
                                  -Beelzebub

12. "I'm making this up as I go along!"
                             -I. Jones

13. "Marriage, being a lifelong venture, must be
    approached with care and caution"
                                     -Bluebeard

14. "Some farewells are easier than others"
                               -P. Marlowe

15. "In a war against organized crime, survival
    is a hit or myth proposition"
                                     -M. Bolan

16. "It's always easier to destroy than to
    create"
          -Any general, any army, any age

17. "The best laid plans often go fowl"
                       -Wile E. Coyote

18. "Life can be profitable, if you know the
    odds"
                                    -Ripley

19. "These blokes need to be taught to respect
    their superiors"
                             -Gen. Cornwallis

20. "Figure the last thing you would expect
    the enemy to do, then count on him doing
    precisely that!"
                                  -Richelieu

21. "Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!"
                       -V. Dracula


                         VII. M.Y.T.H. Inc. Link

1. "Petty crime is the scourge of business today"
                                      -D. Lorean

2. "It all hinges on your definition of 'a good time'!"
                                            -L. Borgia

3. "It's all a matter of taste"
                    -B. Midler

4. "If you're too busy to help your friends, you're
   too busy!"
                                       -L. Iacocca

5. "What fools these mortals be"
                         -Smaug

6. "Not everything in life is funny"
                       -R.L. Asprin



                   VIII. Myth-Nomers and Im-pervections

1. "Nobody's seen it all!"
              -Marco Polo

2. "They don't make 'em like they used to!"
                                  -H. Ford

3. "It's not even a nice place to visit!"
                  -Fodor's Guide To Perv

4. "Taxis are water soluble"
                  -G. Kelly

5. "I just need to pick up a few things"
                             -I. Marcos

6. "There's no place like home!"
                    -H. Johnson

7. "...On the street where you live"
   -Quote from an anonymous extortion note

8. "There's never a cop around when you need
   one!"
                                 -A. Capone

9. "...You gotta start somewhere"
                      -S. McDuck

10. "All financiers are not created equal!"
                                -R. Corman

11. "How come I get all the hard questions?"
                                  -O. North

12. "HOLY BATSHIT, FATMAN! I mean..."
                              -Robin

13. "Who? Me, Officer?"
         -J. Dillinger

14. "Parting is such sweet sorrow"
                          -Figaro

15. "Easy credit terms available..."
                             -Satan

16. "You can judge the success of a man by his
    bodyguards!"
                                      -Prince

17. "Bibbity... bobbity..."
         -S. Strange, M.D.

18. "'M' is for many things she taught me..."
                                    -Oedipus

19. "I am not a crook!"
            -Any crook

20. "Were you looking for me?"
             -Dr. Livingstone


                          IX. M.Y.T.H. Inc. In Action

0. "What am I doing here?"
   -Any recruit, any army

1. "What do you mean
   my characters talk funny?"
                   -D. Runyon

2. "We want to make you
   feel at home!"
            -L. Borgia

3. "Just a little off the top!"
                    -A. Boleyn

4. "Squeeze, don't jerk, the trigger"
                          -R. Rogers

5. "When I travel, nobody knows me...
   and I like it that way!"
                            -S. King

6. "Boards don't hit back!"
                   -B. Lee

7. "To Serve and Protect..."
      -Traditional motto of
       protection rackets

8. "It takes one to know one!"
              -Jack D. Ripper

9. "Manners are acquired, not inherited!"
                                -S. Penn

10. "Now, here's my plan!"
                -R. Burns

11. "That's why the lady is a tramp!"
                          -B. Midler

12. "It sure looks to me like a big night
    tonight!"
                            -Arthur, Rex

13. "Weren't you expecting me?"
                     -J. Rambo

14. "You countermanded me on whose
    authority?"
                       -Pope John

15. "An army travels on its paperwork!"
                           -J. Carlson

16. "So what's wrong with following
    established procedures?"
                     -M. Gorbachev

17. "Ya gotta speak the language"
                     -N. Webster

18. "Has anybody got a plan?"
                -G.A. Custer

19. "We must hurry... It's almost over!"
                               -P. Fogg

20. "I want a rematch!"
             -M. Tyson