"World's Greatest Light Bulb Joke" from the column Back End by John C. Dvorak
in DEC PROFESSIONAL:
Q: How many DEC employees does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
2 People - preliminary discussion on concept of change
1 Person - devise and write formal bulb architecture
2 People - feasibility study and timetable of events
2 People - produce four utilities to reduce screw-in time (in addition to the
electric utility)
1 Person - maintain ISO and DEC standards (sockets, voltage, AC/DC)
4 People - commonality task force on bulb change
15 People - change bulb
5 People - perform bulb functional test
2 People - perform bulb load test
3 People - perform bulb regression test
1 Person - perform bulb performance analysis
1 Person - perform bulb bottleneck analysis
1 Person - follow-up study (bulb merge feasibility)
1 Person - interface with Utilities Commission
1 Person - interface with users. (Did they want incandescent when we only
supply non-tunable flourescent point product?) BAX (Bulbs Are
eXpensive)!
5 People - perform BOSE (Build Other Socket Enhancements)
compatibility/architecture study.
3 People - ensure form (round/square, clear/frosted) follows function
(wattage, 120/240 volts, visible/ultraviolet, flashing,
flood/spot).
3 People - implement temporary alternative bulb socket for already(!?)
existing, successful, and profitable socket (bulb-in-one).
5 People - determine how to market/package/distribute temporary alternative
bulb socket.
10 People - determine how to perform bulb change product split (control:
switches, dimmers; versus implementation: screw-in torque,
recovery strategies)
1 Person - interface with utilities commission QA group
1 Person - submit to BDC (Bulb Distribution Center)
1 Person - set up BPR (Bulb Problem Reports) system
10 People - answer customer BPRs
11 People - football team to challenge bulb changers
t up BPR (Bulb Problem Reports) system
10 People - answer customer BPRs
11 People - football team to challenge bulb c