1. How many Vampires does it take to change a lght bulb?
Only one but he has to bite it three times.
2. How many Jewish Mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. I'll just sit here in the dark and suffer!
3. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one but it really has to want to change.
4. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.
5. How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light
bulb?
None. It's obviously a source-code problem
6. How many straight San Fransiscans does it take to change a
light bulb?
Both of them.
7. How many environmentalists does it take to change a light
bulb?
Eleven. One to change the bulb and ten to write the
environmental impact study.
8. How many MBA's does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. He holds it up and the world revolves around
him.
9. How many Yuppies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Everyone knows Yuppies only screw in hot tubs!
10. How many Chihuahua's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Chihuahua's can't screw without human
intervention.
11. How many Surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Chair.
12. How many Taoists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to not change the
bulb.
13 How many qualified {company name} engineers does it take to
change a light bulb.
There are not enough qualified {company name} engineers
to change a light bulb.
14. How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the
ladder.
15. How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to change a
light bulb?
Two. One to call the electrician and one to pour the
diet coke
16. How many Scadians does it take to change a candle?
Only one if he is fat enough and you render him long
enough. ( SCA = Society of Creative Anachronisms.
they recreate Medieval battles with swords and
armor.)
17. How many Oregonians does it take to change a light bulb?
50. One to change the bulb and 49 to share the
experience.
18. How do you get Mr T to change a light bulb?
"I pity the fool who thinks I am gonna change a light
bulb!"
19. How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the light bulb.
20. How many Light Beer Brewers does it take to change a light
bulb?
One third less than it does to change a regular bulb
21. How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb.
11. "Its in the contract, got a problem with that?"
22. How many Mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. He references it to the teamsters and it
devolves into the previous joke.
23. How many Economists does it take to change a light bulb?
15. One to change the bulb and 14 to write the paper
on the socio-economic changes caused by changing
the light bulb.
24. Why does it take two women with PMS to change a light bulb?
"BECAUSE IT DOES, DAMNIT!"
25. How many Anti-abortionists does it take to change a light
bulb?
Six. One to change the bulb and five to attest that
light began at the onset of screwing
26. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
It depends on how much insurance the bulb has.
STAR TREK BULB JOKES!
75. How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them.
76. How many Ferrengi does it take to change a light bulb?
Ferrengi don't change light bulbs, they sell them.
(42nd rule of acquisition!)
77. How many Cardassians does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one but he needs a Bajoran work deatil to perform
the labor.
78. How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to attest the
original bulb died with honor!
79. How many Romulans does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It has to be a federation trap!
80. How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
"One. It is not logical to waste manpower.
81. How many Q does it take to change a light bulb?
"Light bulb? What in the hell is a light bulb?"