ACCIDENTS

         
         
        Accidents aren't funny, but it's hard to keep from cracking a
        smile when you read some of the explanations on accident
        reports, insurance claims, etc.
         
            -A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's
             face.
         
            -The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number
             of times before I hit him.
         
            -In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into the telephone
             pole.
         
            -The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He
             then went to rest in the bush with just his read end
             showing.
         
            -I told the policeman that  was not injured, but upon
             removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.
         
            -I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the
             other side of the road when I struck him.
         
            -I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at
             my mother-in-law in the other seat and headed over the
             embankment.
         
            -I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell
             asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
         
            -To avoid hitting the bumper of the car ahead, I
             struck the pedestrian.

            -I just saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman
             when he bounced off the hood of my car.
         
            -The accident happened when the right front door of
             a car came around the corner without giving a signal.
         
            -The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was
             attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my
             front end.
         
            -A pedestrian I did not see, hit me then went sliding
             under my car.
         
            -The pedestrian had no idea which way to go so I
             ran over him.
         
            -The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my
             car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.