SIGNS OF GROWING OLDER
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
The gleam in your eyes is from sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the night before, and you haven't been anywhere.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
Your children began to look middle aged.
You finally reach the top of the ladder, and find its leaning
against the wrong wall.
Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today."
You turn out the light for economic rather than romantic reasons.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
You regret all those mistakes resisting temptation.
After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before
applying the second coat.
You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
You burn the midnight oil after 9:00 p.m.
You back goes out more than you do.
The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your
wife.
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the
medicine cabinet.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.