You're flying in seat 37B on Big Iron Airlines and halfway thru the flight,
one of the flight attendants quietly asks you if you're a pilot. You answer
her in a matter of fact tone that says, "Yes, I am." She then says that the
Captain would like to talk with you up front! You follow her and once inside
the cockpit, you sense that all is not right. The flight crew appears to
all be asleep! Realizing that this is not a freight run, you conclude that
the aircraft is in serious trouble. The ex-cheerleader flight attendant
then turns to you, with a small tear in her eye and asks, "Can you fly this
airplane?" You look around the cockpit and quietly reply, "No, I can't even
find the Seat Belt sign, let alone the autopilot disconnect. I'll have to
go back to my seat and add up my frequent flyer bonus miles."
**********************************
Don't let this happen to you! Admit it. Haven't you ever thought about
being asked to go up front and help land the airplane? Come on, be serious.
Of course you have, but what happens when the big day actually comes and
you're up there ready to save all those passengers and probably get a free
pass forever and you can't even get the landing lights on? BE PREPARED!!!
Attend a highly technical, resonably intelligent, semi-literate fast paced
seminar and coffee klatch presented by the:
"Andy Dulay Bluewater 727 School of Boeing Technique"
Be one of the first pilots in your area to learn what most of all those
weird noises and sights that you see while sitting in seat 37B really mean!
Amaze your friends and impress that school teacher from Montanna in the next
seat with your new found knowledge of why the leading edge appears to be
departing from the wing while landing. Attend one of these schools and
learn valuable secrets on the 727 that have been hidden from the public for
years. Give yourself the chance to play with the flaps, turn on the No
Smoking and Seat Belt signs. Learn what the term "Essential Power" really
means. Test the radar, and turn the window heat on. Run thru a full
checklist. Play with the reversers, open the aft airstair and show some
real power by closing it! And, in a semi-serious note, actually get to open
and close the main cabin door. You'll be surprised at just how much effort
it takes to do this seemingly easy task. Anyways, be prepared. You can't
land a 727 if you can't find all the important switches (coffee maker,
lavatory flush motors, autopilot). Attend an upcoming seminar from the
pilot's seat in a 727 at an airport near you. Think about it. The next
time they say, "The Captain has turned on the No Smoking sign", you'll
casually turn to the passenger on your right and say, "I can do that!".
Right now you're probably asking yourself just how much all of this
technical stuff is gonna cost. Not to worry. A personal class with the
Chief Instructor (me) will only cost $18,000 plus tax and title. This is
fully tax deductable (if you have a very good accountant) and will keep my
wife off my back because then I can afford a swimming pool for the house.
However, if you're not currently in the 92% tax bracket, the Bluewater
School of 727 Technique has been known to make exceptions to the tuition
agreements. We do offer a discount to AVSIG members and helicopter pilots
which reduces the cost to a cup of coffee and two jelly donuts. The schools
are scheduled on an "as available" basis. This months school (Jan-Mar 1991)
will be in Newark, NJ as the instructor (me) is flying that run with a
layover there every evening. I've had literally thousands of completely
satisfied customers. Well, maybe hundreds. Well, at least Don Felkin in
Cleveland liked it. In fact he liked it so much, he rides around on
airliners now, just waiting for his chance to hit the seat belt sign and
take over!
Looking forward to giving other pilots the chance to play with the toys that
I get to play with.
Andy (Bluewater 727 School, Inc.)
P.S.
Due to a restructuring of my life for reasons beyond my control, the
ADBW727SoBT is now using the Boeing 757 as a vehicle for instruction. So if
you want to see what the "Glass Cockpit" concept is all about, be sure and
drop a message to me sometime on the Sig.
PP.SS.
Due to still another restructuring of my life for the good of the company,
effective July 1, 1990 the ADBW727SoBT will officially becomes the
ADBW747SoBT. Yes, you read it right, this great school is now available
for all in the famous Boeing 747. So if you've ever wanted to have a heart
attack while climbing up the stairs just to get half-way up the ladder to the
cockpit, well here's your chance.
Andy (Bluewater 747 School, Inc.)