UNDER HANDED



        A  little   old  lady walked into the  head  office  of Chase
        Manhattan Bank,  struggling to carry a large paper bag in her
        hands.  She told  the young man at the window that she wished
        to take the $3 million she had in the bag and open an account
        with the bank.   She said that first,  though,  she wished to
        meet the president  of Chase Manhattan Bank due to the amount
        of money involved.   The  teller  seemed to think  that was a
        reasonable request and after opening the paper bag and seeing
        bundles  of $1,000  bills which amounted to approximately  $3
        million,  he telephoned the  bank  president's  secretary  to
        obtain an appointment for the little old lady.

        The   lady  was  escorted  upstairs  and   ushered into   the
        president's  office.   Introductions were made and she stated
        that  she  likes to get to know the people she  did  business
        with on a more personal level.  The bank president then asked
        her where she came into such a large sum of money,   "Was  it
        an inheritance?"  he asked.  "No" she answered.  "Was it from
        playing the stock market?"  he inquired.   "No"  she replied.
        He  was  quiet for a minute,  trying to think of  where  this
        little  old lady could possibly have come into  $3   million.
        "I bet," she stated.  "You bet?" repeated the bank president.
        "Yes, I bet people!" She exclaimed.

        Seeing  the confusion,  she  explained  that  she  just  bets
        different  things  with people.   All of a sudden,  she said,
        "I'll bet you  $25,000 that by 10 am tomorrow your balls will
        be  square."   The bank president,   somewhat shocked at  her
        statement,  figured she must be off her rocker.   After  some
        deep thought he decided to take her up on the bet.  He didn't
        see how he could lose such a preposterous wager.

        For the rest of the day the bank president was very  careful.
        He decided to stay home that evening and take no chances there
        was $25,000 at stake.

        When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked
        to   make  sure  everything  was *a-okay*.    There  was   no
        difference..they looked the same as they always had.  Assured
        that  alls well,  he went to work,  with visions of  his  own
        personal bank account blessed with a $25,000 deposit.

        He got to his office,  went to the executive mens room, where
        a quick check proved them to be normal.   Smiling, he  waited
        for the little old lady to arrive at 10 o'clock, he knew that
        this was to be a good day.

        At 10 am sharp the little old lady was shown into his office.
        With  her was a young man.   When he inquired as to the young
        man's  purpose for being there,  she informed him that he was
        her lawyer.  "I always take him along when there is this much
        money involved."  "Well" she asked, what about our bet?"
        Smiling,   the bank president replied.   "I don't know how to
        tell  you this but I am the same as I've always  been,   only
        $25,000 richer."   The little old lady seemed to accept this,
        but requested that she be able to see for herself.

        The bank president thought this was a reasonable request  and
        blushingly removed his trousers.   She then instructed him to
        bend  over,  and promptly grabbed hold of the object  of  the
        bet.  Sure enough, everything was fine and normal.  Breathing
        a sigh of relief the bank president pulled up his trousers.

        Looking  up  he  saw  her lawyer standing  across  the  room,
        banging his head against the wall.   "What's wrong with him?"
        he inquired.  "Oh him," she replied, "I bet him $100,000 that
        by 10 o'clock this morning that I would have the president of
        Chase Manhattan Bank "right by the balls."