COMPUTER DICTIONARY


  Most computer owners are not electronic/or computer
    experts....though when reading magazines, articles etc..
    they use terms, abbreviations, and  computer slang known
    only to the informed. With the following dictionary even
    you can understand it!


    8086 - The year you finally pay off your computer.
    8087 - The year you finally pay off your peripherals.
    8088 - The year your spouse forgives you for buying
   the computer.
    Address - Type of attire worn by some female programmers.
    Algol - The husband of Polygol, their missing daughter is
   Polygon.
    Altair - A place where computers are sacrificed.
    Array - A blast from a CRT.
    Backup - Opposite of forward.
    Branch - A stick used for beating.
    Buffer - A programmer who works in the nude.
    Coding - An addictive drug.
    Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
    Cp/m - Program listing for 'Look in the evening section'.
    Cpu - C3po's mother.
    Dip - Inventor of a famous switch.
    Disk Drive - A motor for a frisbee.
    Duplex - Having two apartments.
    Forth - One of the top five computer languages.
    GiGo - Garbage in garbage out.
    Ibm - In London a frequent answer to the question 'Where
   is the tourguide?  "I be 'im."
    IC  - Understanding as in 'Oh, IC'.
    Initialize - Carving your initials on a floppy disk.
    Iterate - A healthy illiterate.
    Joystick - A peripheral intended for use only by consenting
   adults.
    Keyboard - Resembling a typewriter, a keyboard is used for
   entering errors into the computer.
    Kilo - What you could have spent your money on if you hadn't
   bought the computer.
    Language - A system of organizing and defining syntax errors.
    Math Chip - A piece of a broken abacus.
    Megabyte - A nine course dinner.
    Memory Map - A sheet of paper showing location of computer store.
    Mhz - Acronym for 'Megahurtz', meaning 'a million pains'.
    Microfiche - Sardines.
    Nanosecond - Mork's stunt man.
    Newdos - Acronym for 'Not Exactly What The Dealer Offers To
   sell you.
    Pascal - Computer language used for college football player's
   Known in full as `Pass Calvin or Else'.
    Password - The nonsense word taped to the CRT.